Older Women Can Love Twilight, Too (gosh, dangit!)

You would generally not find me watching the Teen Choice Awards. Nor shopping at Hot Topic, for that matter. But suddenly, like a satellite out of orbit, I'm doing these things! What in the world could drive a 35 year old wife and mother of a preschooler to such a teen like frenzy? Cue Edward Cullen and Jacob Black, two otherwise normal highschoolers who somehow have gripped the hearts of females young and old alike. But what makes the more mature Twilight fan special in our own rights? Here's why we may be the driving force behind the Twilight train:

Mature Fans Bring Mature Bank Accounts: Cha-ching! Do you hear that? It's the sound of another dime being dropped on Twilight merchandise. Only it's not a dime, more like twenty bucks. With a franchise and a huge popularity backing, all those Twilight goodies do not come cheap. Enter the average working woman - she might not mind paying a little extra for the blu-ray versus the dvd. And she's got to represent both Team Edward & Team Jacob with two t-shirts, right? It's probably a good bet to say that if there's money being spent, it's women - not girls - who may behind it.

Robbing the Cradle: There may be some questionable age concerns when it comes to older women drooling over the two main hunks in this series. After all, Robert Pattinson is only 23 and Taylor Lautner a mere 17 years old! But are we more in love with the actors, or the characters they portray? Edward's true life has been closer to 104 years, which brings maturity and a sense of independence to the table. Not to mention those killer one-liners he delivers. You won't find your average highschooler uttering phrases like "You are my life now." And although Jacob really has only been on this earth for 16 years, his sense of duty and responsibility that comes along with being in the wolfpack adds a sort of timelessness to him that any woman could drool for - I mean admire!

Keeping it in the Family: I am amazed to see how many mothers and daughters have come together over Twilight. You see them at the movie together, equally as excited; they'll be at Hot Topic picking out t-shirts (mom buying, of course.) When it comes down to it, it's good, clean fun. The book series can be found in the young adult section of the bookstore, so there's no reason why moms and daughters can't share the books. And the movie being PG-13 only gets as steamy as a kiss, so moms don't have to fret too much over letting their daughters watch it. There's no feeling that equals the excitement a mother and daughter feel over sharing the same hobby. And it's a great excuse for some girls only time! If that's not bonding I don't know what is.

But Still Being Baaaaaddd....: There is a flip side to all these warm, fuzzy feelings, though. I mean, what's the sense in being good, if you can't be a little bad? The more mature Twilight fan has been practically waiting for something of this nature to come along in their lives. Vampires have always exuded a sense of mystery and intrigue, but then bam! The men of Twilight arrive and vampires instantly become - well, sexy! Not only that, but dangerous as well. There is a sensual thrill out of being with someone who is always on the brink of sucking the life out of you, but simply wanting to be with you more. Twilight gives the older woman a chance to break out the norm and do something daring!

So after listing all these great reasons why an adult woman would love Twilight, what sane woman wouldn't want to join this craze? It's a chance to be a little immature, let loose, and mostly just enjoy the ride with all the rest of us girls.

... And Why Jacob Black Would Totally Fit in Hawaii!

This is a continuation of yesterday's blog. With all the difficulties of a cold one living amongst our islands, I thought to myself, how about his polar opposite? Could a teenage wolf make himself home here? (Please say yes!)

Hot Temperature, Hot Body!: Thought that would get your attention. With a temperature running an average 108.9 degrees, this wolf would have no problem taking the tropical heat. And if he still wants to beat the heat by taking his shirt off, that's definitely not a problem either.

Room to Roam: With lush valleys and towering cliffs, there is plenty of space for Jacob to run about in wolf form. And with his russet-colored fur, he might blend into the Mililiani red plains dirt just fine.

Big Boy Appetite: Hey, our islands have given birth to songs about food, that's how much local people love their ono grindz. Jacob with his constant need to eat won't have any trouble finding a schmorgasborg of delicious eats that will satisfy him. The Hawaii Prince buffet's a good place to start...

Stuff to Tinker: Jacob loves getting some elbow grease on his, well elbows. If he's not running with his pack or thinking of ways to irritate Edward then he's most likely fixing up cars and motorcycles. And as we all know, there is definitely no shortage of tricked out cars for him to tinker with here. Don't believe me? Try taking a drive down Kam Highway.

So yes, our island paradise is indeed ideally suited for our four-footed furry friend. So well suited, in fact, that the local boys just might have some trouble locating their girlfriends, who are probably standing in line waiting for a chance to get imprinted. The only hitch to this picture perfect home for Jacob is the clothing. Once he morphs, his favorite thing to carry (in his mouth) is a pair of sweatpants and sneakers. Our stores probably only carry sweatpants for a few months out of the year. So there might be some difficulty there... but hey, we could always introduce him to swim shorts.

Why Edward Cullen Wouldn't Survive in Hawaii

As a fan of all things Twilight, have you not ever fantasized about an Edward Cullen of your very own possibly living in your neighborhood? Well of course you have - but coming from the mindset of a local girl, just imagine the difficulties I’ve come up with for a vampire living in Hawaii:

1) The first and most obvious reason: THE CONSTANT SUNLIGHT! Unless Edward turns nocturnal, the chances of leading a normal life in paradise greatly diminish with each inch of skin he exposes.

2) Lack of food: Edward's tastiest hunting choices are mountain lion and deer. The best Hawaii has to offer are feral pigs and sea turtles. Yech!

3) Loss of anonymity: In a state where everyone knows everybody, and one's age is quickly discovered by asking "what year you grad?" Edward would have some trouble shifting from one high school to the next without having half the student body recognizing him.

4) No chance of speeding: With the limited roadway provided by three highways not to mention the constant traffic, Edward would be lucky to get his speedometer over 50mph. (What a terrible waste of driving skills!)

These are just a few reasons I’ve come up with, not to diss my lovely state! It is hilarious to think that even fantasies can’t live up to their potential without the logical side of my brain interfering… what a nuisance.

Have any good reasons of your own?