Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Why Edward Cullen Wouldn't Survive in Hawaii



As a fan of all things Twilight, have you not ever fantasized about an Edward Cullen of your very own possibly living in your neighborhood? Well of course you have - but coming from the mindset of a local girl, just imagine the difficulties I’ve come up with for a vampire living in Hawaii:

1) The first and most obvious reason: THE CONSTANT SUNLIGHT! Unless Edward turns nocturnal, the chances of leading a normal life in paradise greatly diminish with each inch of skin he exposes.

2) Lack of food: Edward's tastiest hunting choices are mountain lion and deer. The best Hawaii has to offer are feral pigs and sea turtles. Yech!

3) Loss of anonymity: In a state where everyone knows everybody, and one's age is quickly discovered by asking "what year you grad?" Edward would have some trouble shifting from one high school to the next without having half the student body recognizing him.

4) No chance of speeding: With the limited roadway provided by three highways not to mention the constant traffic, Edward would be lucky to get his speedometer over 50mph. (What a terrible waste of driving skills!)

These are just a few reasons I’ve come up with, not to diss my lovely state! It is hilarious to think that even fantasies can’t live up to their potential without the logical side of my brain interfering… what a nuisance.

Have any good reasons of your own?

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